An "Ofrenda You Can't Refuse..."
What if I claimed that doing just one thing annually for a week or so would improve your life immeasurably? And, that you could even do it from home? You know, like one of those gimmicky online ads prompting you to read about “this one trick…” Many Mexicans and others worldwide already celebrate Día de Muertos, most recognized on November 1st and 2nd, and by doing so enhance their lives deeply through an added sense of love, camaraderie, family, and humility.
As an estadounidense who has lived in Mexico for the last few years and who grew up in a highly traditional family of Italian descent with many customs akin to Mexican ones, I was easily drawn to the Mexican traditions my native wife began to share with me after we met a few years ago, especially those around Día de Muertos. The “ofrenda” above is her annual creation and currently graces and adorns our living room. While I appreciated my initial exposure to the ofrenda, with its multi-level colorful assembly of cempasúchil (the traditional flowers of the occasion), papel picado (the decorative and symbolic paper), photos of beloved who have died, and the playful remembrances of items they enjoyed, such as favorite foods, wine, a toy or game, etc., I also felt a bit saddened and morose by the idea that a culture invested so much time and energy into what I perceived as a rather morbid construction. After all, there were many photos of the dead.
That’s when having an open mind and some savvy about being a “good” husband became fortuitous. Desiring to respect my Mexican wife’s reverence for this lauded tradition, I decided to pay more attention to its elements, to fully participate in its practices and thus feel its weight more deeply and personally. I inquired about how many levels were appropriate in the ofrenda’s construction, why photos of deceased pets were often included, what was special about the cempasúchil, why so many locals dress up as catrines and catrinas, etc. The interesting answers to these questions and the beautiful warmth and humble enthusiasm with which my wife enlightened me sparked more interest and connection on my part. While I am not typically a fan of animated movies, I do recommend Coco if your interest has been piqued. It explores well the lore and customs of Día de Muertos and why it’s so important in Mexico and many other Latin countries and is even gaining interest in the US. As the theme of this prized holiday signals, there lies so much more meaning than meets the eye.
Having celebrated this staple Mexican holiday in the picturesque and enchanting city of San Miguel de Allende for a few years running, I reflect beyond the facts and context depicted so well in Coco, upon what resonates within me and why I now eagerly look forward to celebrating Día de Muertos, including our wonderful ofrenda, months before its arrival. Seeing the faces of family and friends and even pets who have left us and this realm during the precious days before and during the holiday conjures a mix of feelings - sadness, nostalgia, joy, love, and camaraderie among them. Even more stirring is a deep sense of humility that encompasses me, growing each day as I admire our ofrenda. I notice that I stand in front of it a bit longer each time in reflection, unable to dispute the simple yet riveting facts that they are gone, and I will eventually join them. Full stop.
Embracing this leveling and unequivocal truth that the ofrenda’s traditional structure, emotion-provoking photos, and overall beauty present has made me a better person. Throughout the year, with echoes of the ofrenda still resounding, I think a little longer about what matters most and what shouldn’t matter at all. I hesitate more often before leveling a criticism, making a point, or giving someone a dig. I savor the moments I get to spend with family and friends today with a potent and ringing truth inside me that our shared stay in this realm is indeed but a whisper of time. Prompted by my departed family and friends whose spirits and photos silently bridge the worlds of past, present, and future via the majestic ofrenda, I feel implored to play my role among the living better, with gratitude and respect for those here now and for those beyond.
